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This is not a convenient day for the year to end.
January 1, 2010, was a calm, and truly monochromatic day, which set the initial tone for the year and the first photo I posted reflected the tone. It was turning away from the excitement and adventures in 2009 towards a more inward and local focus on creativity and relationships…and finding a new job. And at the end of the year, much of that remains true: more creative output, both musically and visually than ever, new friends (and deepening ties with old friends), and I did get that new job. But the pace and energy are anything but calm. Life has been hurtling forward at a faster and faster pace, with an ever higher density of activity and experience, and that can’t keep going forever. There are limits. Limits in time, in resources, and in my body. Slowing down is not easy, and may not even be necessary, but this coming year is going to be about doing the best I can within those limits. In terms of this site, there is always the tension between experiences and writing about those experiences, and lately I have been erring on the side of experience versus writing about it. It’s a continuous process to learn how to balance that.
Things don’t always look particularly bright when you’re in the middle of them. This year (like most) was riddled with mistakes and failures, missed opportunities, and more. But if, say, “2008 me” got to look ahead and see “2010 me”, he would probably be amazed at how much has changed…mostly for the better. I saw another interesting perspective yesterday when a friend, in saying good riddance to 2010, pointed around the table and said (and I paraphrase) “your 2010 sucked”, “your 2010 sucked” and then when she pointed to me said “yours was actually pretty good”.
So tomorrow I will simply pick up where things left off today…and keep in mind the phrase from a show I saw at the beginning of the year (by Anthony Discenza), “Everything Will Probably Turn Out OK.”
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