I am upset by the names of her brothers.
It is not clear where they belong,
where she belongs.
Close to the family,
to their heritage,
or off on the mean streets of cities
or nestled among the trees
barely out of Nature's reach?
Does history begin in a stranger's room
with dyed red hair
and a black dress
and words that no one wants to hear?
It doesn't seem finished
It doesn't seem to have begun
The eyes are all around
And I am tired.
Weekend Cat Blogging 67 Roundup
Well, it's time to get started with the great WCB 67 roundup!
To start things off on the music theme, here's a repost of Luna bedding down next to one of my MIDI keyboards – this was featured on the inaugural post of this forum:

Thanks to everyone who has submitted so far, and also for the many kind words about Luna and this site. Keep 'em coming, and I'll keep updating throughout the weekend. Just submit a comment at the WCB #67 call. Links back to this site are also appreciated ;-).
First off, we have KuDin and Siri joining WCB for the first time. Siri is looking quite relaxed on the rug.
Mr. Mao aspires to be a feline TV star (or a feline celebrity stalker) over at Kross-Eyed Kitty.
Upsie at “What Did you Eat?” reminds us that long hair and autumn leaves are a dangerous combination. Parents beware!
I love those little black girl kitties, like Aretha Franklin over at Miss Ellie's Page. That's what Luna must've been like as baby. Such a sweetie! I really hope someone gives her a nice home.
cooknkate gives us some Mimi chillin' out in the ironing room. If you ever visit, be prepared to share your guest quarters.
Over at chefsarahjane, the adorable Tiggy shows off her toys. Play, nap, play, be cute,…If only we could all lead her existence…
Jelly gives us some extreeeme closeups of Kamikaze. Apparently, he hasn't been in the best of moods lately.
Columbus Foodie introduced Frankie and Sammy in their first WCB appearance. Looks like Frankie's got the prime spot in the bedroom, at least for the moment…
Anne at Anne's Food gives us the adorable pair Glinda and Kelly contemplating a spider. I'm imagining the classic Odd Couple theme playing in the background here…
Over at passionatenonchalance, babaganoosh reminds us just how tiring it can be to play with ribbons. Believe me, I know, I've tried it.
More classic themesongs come to mind as Trixie and Colin at The Westering Hills reenact a scene from Rocky. Ouch, kids, round over!
Bonus points to Taboo over at jellypizza for choosing a speaker as a hiding place. I'm with you on hiding from meds, Taboo, but speakers can be dangerous hiding places, especially if your humans have any Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera CDs…
Over at Rosa's Yummy Yums, we have Fridolin and Maruschka lying together in their basket, or “two lazy sausages” as Rosa puts it. Makes me feel all warm and sleepy just watching…sleeeeepy…
…today was a beautifully warm September day here (unlike yesterday), so I spent much of the afternoon outdoors. The outdoors felt especially welcome after being stuck sick indoors so much the last few days. A short walk out the ocean, followed by a relaxing couple of hours in the backyard, reading and whatnot…I'm now back inside for the sunset, and time to get back our cat blogging roundup…
From masak-masak, we have several street cats, who appear to be doing well thanks to the Malaysian fondness for felines. It's great to see a culture that loves cats. This is also a self-reminder to write a photo-article for this blog about the cats I encountered in India last winter.
Mr. Neelix and Sinda are a veritable yin & yang, enjoying a moment of perfect harmony in the U.S. Pacific Northwest, courtesy of Tina at A Blip on the Radar. Just look at the way they're eyeing each other, though. You know something pretty serious is about to go down…
From Cin at “A Few of My Favorite Things”, we have a very regal Bella being served a fine meal as she surveys her domain…um, are you going to eat that?
Extreme cuteness alert! Feline Foster Mom Ellen presents an irresistable pair of young kittens from the CASPCA in Charlottesville, VA. Do check them out as well as the other kitties available for adoption, especially if you're in the Charlottesville area. That is some great photography – family photographers who have to deal with unruly kids, take notice.
Cats are experts at finding new comfy places to sleep, and Lucky is no exception, as Riana at “These Days in French Life” shows us.
farmgirl presents an installment in the riveting drama Hot Dog vs. Parched Pussycast. I guess we'll have to check back in to find out what happens next. Please also visit The Wild Animal Sanctuary, they still need support for the efforts to help (formerly) captive wild animals in the U.S.
Molly curls into a cashew and purrs while Kaji's Mom attempts to do her blogging. I know, I can't resist that tummy, either.
Heather tells us about the wet weather in the hill country of Texas. More poignantly, however, she dearly misses her kitty Spooks who was hit by car this past week. Our thoughts are with them both.
Well, at this moment there's about five minutes left on the weekend, at least where I'm sitting (which is on the couch). I will continue to post any entries I receive through Monday morning.
Thanks to all who contributed. It has been great fun hosting Weekend Cat Blogging, and should the opportunity come around Luna and I would happily do so again.
Good night!
Listen to audio from headphone festival
I'm taking a short break out of cat blogging to post the audio from my recent performance at the headphone festival. You listen to it here.
This will be the first in my podcast series, though getting that set up is taking longer than planned, all these pesky details setting up the RSS feed, populating the content, collateral, etc. So for now, just enjoy the music on its own…
Sick days, the mighty hunter and "this hole in the ground"
I've been a little under the weather the last couple of days. Actually, more than a little. Mostly just resting and recuperation, with Luna?s help, of course. That is, when she?s not too busy looking out the window or hunting bugs, which she spent a lot of time doing yesterday and today. There was one large fly in the window that she became quite obsessed with, tracking it and swatting. Took a while for the mighty hunter to finally catch her quarry.
I did read some more from Hofstadter's Metamagical Themas (which I briefly discussed in an earlier post). I would like to share some interesting thoughts from that as soon as I feel up to the task.
Of course, one can?t spend the entire time on intellectual pursuits, however recreational; so Luna and I also caught up on some DVDs:

I pretty much use the TV as a DVD viewer, I don?t have any television service. So I?m not really up on either current popular programs, nor what?s going on in TV and cable news. Aside from the occasional good drama that I can rent on DVD anyway, it doesn?t seem like I?m missing much, especially when it comes to television news. However, TV news does intrude into other domains however, for example, I found several references online to this commentary by Keith Olbermann. As a follow up to my [post from a few days ago], I provide the following quote which mirrors not only what I have been thinking with frustration not only about the big empty space in New York, but about what happened (or failed to happen) politically in the past few years:
Five years later this space is still empty.
Five years later there is no memorial to the dead.
Five years later there is no building rising to show with proud defiance that we would not have our America wrung from us, by cowards and criminals.
Five years later this country's wound is still open.
Five years later this country's mass grave is still unmarked.
Five years later this is still just a background for a photo-op.
It is beyond shameful.
I strongly recommend reading or viewing the whole article in its entirety.
Like I said, I'm pretty out of it when I comes to TV and cable news personalities, so I'm reading a lot of this for the first time. Seems like he?s a bit of an anti-O?Reilly but a bit more civilized. His recent commentaries have earned him a fair amount of praise at several internet outlets that I read; but not surprisingly a lot of flak from the right. He even has his own anti-fan site, though who doesn't these days?.
I'm also curious about this whole “worst person in the world” thing…does he take suggestions?
A perfectly clear day…
Today was a warm, perfectly clear day, notably absent of the fog, cold and wind of the past week…
It seems like September 11 is always a bright, clear day, both here in northern California as well as back in New York. It was certainly a clear day five years ago as well…
There are certainly a lot being written online on this fifth anniverary of 9-11 – some of it genuine (particularly from New Yorkers, though not limited to them), a lot of it propaganda, or phony sentimentality or “patriotism.” I would stay clear of the whole thing if I didn't think I had something unique to contibute…
I begin with quote from this view from the WTC plaza that I read this afternoon:
I arrived in Lower Manhattan at about 8:38. Walking up Dey Street I decided to stop for coffee and walked across Church Street onto the Plaza of the World Trade Center. I called my father on my cell phone and we were talking which kept me from entering the building. I was on a bench right in front of the WTC 1 and turned slowly for no real reason and saw the entire plane hit the tower. I saw the wing extended from the building on the south side and a large explosion. Then smoke. Then everything was frozen, very still, with a perfect New York blue sky framing the backdrop of explosions. I ran when the glass and metal begin to fall from the sky hitting all around me…At that point I began running north. I got to East 4th Street completely dazed. On Houston St. I saw the WTC 1's needle crumble to the ground and heard on blasting radios that both of the towers had fallen. From there I made my way to the Williamsburg Bridge and made my way back home. Tens of thousands of people were walking across the bridge, a surreal exodus no one was quite prepared to cope with…
I never thought I would work in the World Trade Center. But I enjoyed my work there. Like all artists, I needed the money, but I also made many friends and learned a good deal about other parts of life, other skills that I never knew I possessed.
The views of the harbor were magnificent and inspirational. I remember ending long days by looking out the windows and feeling so very refreshed and glad to be in such a beautiful city like New York.
But that view is gone and so much has changed. Though I have felt such anger and frustration, more that ever in my life, I know I will survive. I made it out alive for a reason.
At the same time, I was 3,000 miles away in the totally boring and pathetic Bay Area town of Fremont, arising from bed an hour or so later to face an ordinary day at work 40 miles away along with daily challenges of my unravelling relationship. That was all, at least temporarily, swept away by what I saw and heard on CNN (only after receiving an email exhorting everyone to turn on the news). I didn't get into work until sometime in the afternoon, and then spent much of the day online looking at photos; I continued to wade through photos well into the night after returning home.
Things like this were not supposed to happen, not to New York, not to its iconic and familiar skyscrapers, not to the indistructable momunments of the modern world. Whether it was during my happy years in Berkeley or the miserable year in Fremont that was only beginning, I'd always be able to go back to New York – and suddenly that was no longer something I could count on, everything was mortal, and I was “guilty” somehow for not being there…
I did make it back to New York in Novemember, 2001, and of course had to see ground zero for myself. This is a photo I took looking into the site, from the north (Varick Street, I think):

In the longer view, the thought I have kept coming back to was the idea that something so beautiful (the World Trade Center complex, the New York City skyline, the emblems of 20th Century modernism) were destroyed by something so ugly (Islamic fundamentalism, the tribal and primitive past). Having not lost anyone personally on 9-11, I am able to think about things like this, and how what I want in return is the restoration of modern ideals. I will leave the political and cultural aspects aside for another post (I'm sure I'll get back to it again), and focus for this anniversary on the aesthetic and architectural.
The Skyscraper Museum in New York, which is hosting a commemoration of what it labels the “original World Trade Center,” lends its support the idea that the age of the vertical metropolis is far from over. In that spirit, the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation (LMDC) unveiled the latest design for the new World Trade Center complex, including the new major buildings and the memorial:
Having followed the redevelopment story over the past few years, I am used to the new design, and I am mindful of the controversies around the original Twin Towers in the late 1960s as being too “boring” and somehow an affront to New York's skyline, and in the long run nothing could have been further from the truth. The building designs have attracted a certain amount of controversy, but nearly as much as the design for the memorial. Any design certainly has it's imperfections, but as it stands it is perfectly in harmony with the modernism of both the original and new World Trade Center complexes, and it includes the most important generally-agreed-upon elements such as preserving the footprints of the original towers, and even incorporates a piece of the original retaining wall (illustrated in the picture to the right). Certainly, the criticms have their place, notably the concern by 9-11 families for the victims' names. But that's where their “rights” end, at least as far as the restoration is concerned. I mean no disrespect to the people who lost loved ones, but if we followed the advice of some outspoken victims' relatives and the opinions of many unaffected people in Middle America, such as the author of this article (he can't even get his dueling memorial-advocacy websites straight!), lower Manhattan would be overrun with kitch, over-sentimentality and insipid tributes to phoney patrotism. That may be fine for Oklahoma City, but not for New York! It's bad enough that we have to live with middle America's patron saints of mediocrity as our leaders along with their policies that make our great cities targets for more terrorism, let alone have to deal with their ideas of what makes a good memorial…But, I did say I'll save the politics for later. So for now, I leave with with another quote from that original site I references that discusses what not only it's author (Sami Plotkin) but indeed many New Yorkers might have wanted:
None of us wanted to see [the twisted structure of the 500 foot wall] go. We have been comforted over the past two weeks by its presence. We have marvelled at its strange beauty, as it rose from the ruins, an intricate lacy network of sheer strength; a stoic remnant that survived the blast and struck us with its splendor in the golden light of sunset, as bright rays glanced off the building behind, glinting between its metal beams and through the great accidental window which was rent through at just the right height. It was an image of alarming beauty, and the serendipity of its perfect composition was significant to us. In the most simple and sentimental way, the evening light shining through that accidental window was for us a ray of hope. Although we all understood that for now it must come down, whispered questions eddied through the crowd as we wondered, would the pieces be saved? Does the Mayor know that we have already begun to see this as our monument? For we have. That mangled and beautiful skelet! on was a monument that spoke more poignantly of New York's pain and resilience than any artwork we could have devised.
9-11
September 11
New York
World Trade Center
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memorial
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Thoughts on last night's performance
In this article I review my performance last night at the plug:dos headphone festival in San Francisco.
First, the venue itself. 5lowershop is in a warehouse near the junction of highways 280 and 101 in San Francisco. It’s at the edge of the Bernal Heights neighborhood.



The venue and its surroundings have that seedy edge-of-the-city feel that I probably wouldn’t want to live in but nonetheless often find intriguing and romantic. It’s just another part of the quintessentially “modern” world.
The interior matches the exterior, a jumble of areas within the warehouse, including the main performance area. The space is quite porous with the outside, and I noticed several cats wander though, including the grey fellow and a small black-and-white kitten. They were presumably feral cats attracted by the warmth, activity and possibility of food. Feral cats are an inevitable part of urban environments, but it’s still heartbreaking to see them this way. I was also concerned for them because of the dogs that were present, fortunately the dogs seemed to be pets and quite mellow.
The atmosphere of people crowded in a warehouse listening to headphones was quite unusual to say the least. Some of the performances were quite interesting, including a serinate for voice and hammer-dulcimer, and of course several acts mixing guitar, analog synthesizers and turntable. The analog synths didn’t strike me as a good fit for headphone performance, and thus avoided them myself (as described in my article on the preparation), but they did a good job of keeping the sound within a reasonable range.
Despite the best efforts of the organizers, whom I liked and thought did a good job overall, things tended to run rather late, and I ended up going on 9:40PM, two hours after my scheduled performance. But I think it went well musically, pretty much meeting my expectations for mixing ambient and rhythmic/punctuated material while keeping things mellow for the headphones. I did bounce around and repeat elements more than I expected, but such is the nature of improvisation, reacting as things unfold.

The equipment (Dell Laptop, Emulator X, E-MU 1616m, E-MU Xboard 25) performed flawlessly. I did make a direct recording on the laptop, and will be posting that shortly. I am also planning to make that the first release in my planned podcast series.
UPDATE: you can now listen to the audio from this performance. Enjoy!
Preparing for tomorrow's performance
My upcoming performance at the the plug.dos headphone festival provides some special challenges. Because the audience, both at the venue and online, will be using headphones, I need make sure my sounds and processes are headphone-safe, i.e., low volume with no clipping, glitching or large volume-spikes. More positively, I can take advantage of a uniform stereo listening environment with deliberate pan and positioning effects.
The need for steady volume and stability rules out the use of feedback and high-resonance filtering that I use in a lot of my recent music. Thus, the Evolver is out. Many of my Open Sound World patches are probably not approrpriate, though stable-volume patches are certainly doable.
I am focusing on Emulator X controlled with a MIDI keyboard (E-MU Xboard25). Thus, my preparations have focused on selecting existing sounds from the E-MU sound library that meet my technical and aesthetic requirements, and creating some new sounds. One preset that I spent a lot of time building is a modification of my additive synthesizer for Emulator X, consisting of eight independently controllable sinewaves. In addition to MIDI control of amplitude and frequency, I use a function generator to add amplitude modulations do the sinewave components of the timbre. Additionally, each “note” played has an independent pan position, spreading the sound across in the stereo field. I have also modified some existing sounds to include stable amplitude-modulation effects. The end result is a highly-controllable pallete of sounds from which I plan to make an ambient but punctuated sound scape, with a few rhythmic elements for good measure.
Logistically, this will be a very simple performance to travel and set up, just my laptop, the E-MU 1616m sound module, and the keyboard. I am looking forward to a relaxed, simple and enjoyable experience.
I'm not posting any advance examples, so you'll have to listen online to the show to hear what I'm describing. Hopefully I will be able to post a recording after the fact.
emu
emulator x
resonance
synth
synthesizer
keyboard
music
performance
Worthless Kitty Semi-Redux: Selfish Cat Video
A friend emailed this to me months ago, and it's been one of my favorite net videos since (though that muppet-anime mashup is pretty classic, too):
There's nothing like watching a cute kitten get the better of a canine rival to brighten one's spirits…
Fun with stats: Internet Users
Top ten “nations” by number of internet users
1. European Union: 230,097,055
2. United States: 203,824,428
3. China: 111,000,000
4. Japan: 86,300,000
5. India: 50,600,000
6. Korea, South: 33,900,000
7. Brazil: 25,900,000
8. Russia: 23,700,000
9. Canada: 20,900,000
10. Indonesia 18,000,000
Amar @ plug:dos headphone festival in SF, Saturday 9/9, 7:40PM
I will be performing live at 992 Paralta St. in San Francisco at 7:40PM on Saturday. Mostly experimental, “lowercase” (i.e., soft) electronic music. This is intriguing because it is a “headphone” event where people live at the venue as well as those listening online will be using headphones.
For those who are interested, you can also listen live online on Saturday. visit http://www.deletist.info/plugdose.html or
http://www.leplacard.org for more info.
Official press release below:
SAN FRANCISCO'S 2ND ANNUAL HEADPHONE FESTIVAL
AUG 5-6 2006
5LOWERSHOP COLLECTIVE WAREHOUSE
992 PERALTA AVE., SF
http://www.deletist.infoa festival within a festival, transmitting 48 live performances for 48 hours in participation with the worldwide interaural experiment known as LE PLACARD #9 – a self-organized nonstop streaming festival that migrates from city to city broadcasting headphone conterts to headphone people around the world from june-october 2006.
http://leplacard.orgadmission is free
B.Y.O. HEADPHONES[:] p l u g [:] 2005
last year, a constant flow of over 300 people plugged their headphones in at the 5lowershop warehouse on peralta ave to hear 48 headphone-only performances from the likes of beth custer, swoondoll, bunnyphonic, jeff ray, justino, neighborhood bass coalition, skullcaster, nullspace, sky sosa, toshio hirano, 666 gangsta, dj crackhouse, heartworm, members of subarachnoid space, ryan of slidecamp, mono, halcyon high, things falling apart, aaron x of the quiet american, viola-cello improv victor lowrie, sodium channel, useless unknown facts, tina butcher, the deletist, and many more..
a simultaneous pirate radio broadcast was heard at 104.1 fm, and untold numbers of listeners were plugged in at various listening rooms in LE PLACARD's global network. a live irc chat also allowed listeners to communicate during the event.
Wired magazine praised the festival, and LE PLACARD organizers in paris
dubbed [:] p l u g [:] “the best transmission of the year”p l u g [:] dos 2006
this year, we return with 2 days of sound experimentation, continuing the diverse mix of acoustic, experimental, electronic, and non-genresfrom underground artists all across california. again, we will transmit a simulltaneous pirate radio broadcast at 104.1 fm, include the live chat for listeners, stream live audio through LE PLACARD's global network, and
due to popular demand, a live video stream will be added to this year's festival.everyone is invited to listen, participate and experience this unforgettable event.
there will be food, drinks, merchandise, and more!
I arrived in Lower Manhattan at about 8:38. Walking up Dey Street I decided to stop for coffee and walked across Church Street onto the Plaza of the World Trade Center. I called my father on my cell phone and we were talking which kept me from entering the building. I was on a bench right in front of the WTC 1 and turned slowly for no real reason and saw the entire plane hit the tower. I saw the wing extended from the building on the south side and a large explosion. Then smoke. Then everything was frozen, very still, with a perfect New York blue sky framing the backdrop of explosions. I ran when the glass and metal begin to fall from the sky hitting all around me…At that point I began running north. I got to East 4th Street completely dazed. On Houston St. I saw the WTC 1's needle crumble to the ground and heard on blasting radios that both of the towers had fallen. From there I made my way to the Williamsburg Bridge and made my way back home. Tens of thousands of people were walking across the bridge, a surreal exodus no one was quite prepared to cope with…

